The following monologues can be used for our friendly auditions.
You must call us to book a 15 min audition. Please have a 1 to 2 minute monologue memorized. Call Melanie at: 647-892-LJTC (5582)
MALE:
Antz
written by Todd Alcott & Chris Weitz & Paul Weitz
Zee: All my life I’ve lived and worked in the big city, which now that I think of it, is a problem since I always feel uncomfortable around crowds. I mean it I have this fear of enclosed spaces, everything makes me feel trapped all the time. You know I always tell my self there’s got to be something better out there, but maybe I think to much. I think everything must go back to the fact that I had a very anxious childhood, you know my mother never had time for me. You know when your a middle child in a family of five million, you don’t get any attention, I mean how’s it possible. And I’ve always had these abandonment issues, which played me, My father was basically a drone like I’ve said, you know the guy flew away when I was just a larva… and my job, don’t get me started on, cause it really annoys me, I was not cut out to be a worker, I’ll tell you right now, I feel physically inadequate, I, I, my whole life I’ve never been able to lift ten times my own body weight and when you get down to it, handling dirt is….. aaaiiiheeww, you know is not my idea of a rewarding career. It’s this whole gung-ho super-organism thing that I, I you know I can’t get, I try but I can’t get it. I mean you know, what is it, I’m supposed to do everything for the colony, and what about my needs, what about me? I mean I gotta believe there’s someplace out there that’s better than this! Otherwise I’d just curl up in a larva position and weep! (pause) The whole system out there just makes me feel… (thinking) Insignificant! (Waits, listen’s to Psychologist speak).
You mean, I’ve made a break through? I am not insignificant after all!
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
written by Roald Dahl
Slugworth: I congratulate you, little boy. Well done. You found the fifth Golden Ticket. May I introduce myself. Arthur Slugworth, President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated. Now listen carefully because I’m going to make you very rich indeed. Mr. Wonka is at this moment working on a fantastic invention: the Everlasting Gobstopper. If he succeeds, he’ll ruin me. So all I want you to do is to get hold of just one Everlasting Gobstopper and bring it to me so that I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be ten thousand of these. (he flips through a stack of money) Think it over, will you. A new house for your family, and good food and comfort for the rest of their lives. And don’t forget the name: Everlasting Gobstopper.
Ratatouille
written by Brad Bird, Jim Capobianco, Emily Cook, Kathy Greenberg, and Jan Pinkava
Anton Ego: In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core. In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize that only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau’s, who is, in this critic’s opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau’s soon, hungry for more.
SARGE
By: Eddie Lawrence
(This gruff army veteran, conscious of some college men in the ranks, tells a batch of recruits that they’re in the army now.)
SARGE: All right men, fall in. Alphabetically. Okay … never mind just line up. Anyway. Aatt’s it. Now I don’t have to tell you men, the army is different from home life. Your mother ain’t here. Your father
ain’t here. And your sister ain’t here. But your big brother’s here. That’s me. And I’m around all the time watchin’ you. So watch it. Now I don’t mind in the beginin’ if you goof. We all goof. We’re only human. (Pause) Who said that? Wise guy inna crowd huh? Commentator. Well we’re gonna weed out all the commentators and wits and wise guys an ship ‘em to Tibbet!
William Brown
from Still William by Richmal Crompton
I’m on guard. There’s a Russian Prince playing cricket with those people, and I’ve been told, by Scotland Yard, to guard him. You see, you see, they thought no one would find it funny to see a boy hanging around watching a cricket match but a policeman or plain-clothes man would make people sort of suspicious. I’m a good deal older than what I look of course. I’ve been kept small by Scotland Yard, so as to be able to take on jobs like this. Anyway, I’m supposed to be watching this Russian Prince to make sure no harm comes to him. It’s that one, the one batting now. He was rescued from the revolution when he was a boy and brought over here secret, and given to this family to pretend he was their son so as to keep him in hiding. You see, you see the bolshevists are after him. He got away with all his jewels for one thing and that’s what they’re after. They’re after his jewels. You see that very dark man over there, he’s a bolshevist. He’s after the jewels. That’s why I’m told to guard this Russian Prince against him. Oh, I’ve got ways. I’ve got secret signals. I could have all Scotland Yard here in no time if I gave one of my secret signals. You won’t tell anyone, will you? I mean they’d probably get him at once if they knew anyone knew. You see, your life’ll be in danger if you let anyone know you know, and most of all you mustn’t let him know you know. If you let him know you know he’d go straight away and none of us would ever see him again.
FEMALE:
Cinderlla
Stepsister
It isn’t easy being the ugly stepsister. Everybody always feels so sorry for poor little Cinderella, but what about me? I deserve a little sympathy, too. Does MY fairy godmother ever turn up with a
magic wand? Does the prince ever dance with me at the ball? Not on your life. The best I can ever hope for with my pumpkins is a decent piece of pie. And as for the rats, well, rats are rats, with their sneaky eyes and skinny tails, nibbling and gnawing at the garbage. I never saw one yet who turned into a coachman.
If you ask me, that Cinderella is weird. Certainly, she isn’t normal. Besides the fact that she has naturally curly hair and wears size 4 1/2 shoes, she is so good-natured that it’s downright sickening. If you had to dust and sweep and clean all day long, would you go around singing to the birds? Of course you wouldn’t. No sensible person would. A lot of people think I’m jealous of her. Maybe I am. And with good reason. I subsisted on seven hundred calories a day for three whole weeks before the ball. I did my leg-lift exercises faithfully. I got a perm and a facial and a manicure. I even bought a new gown.
Blue velvet. Designer label. I mean, I was READY. PRINCEY, I thought to myself, HERE I COME And what happens? Little Cindy, who has never seen the inside of a health club in her life and who doesn’t know the caloric difference between a carrot stick and a chocolate eclair, whips together a dress out of some old curtains from K-Mart, waltzes off to the ball and snags the prince. It isn’t fair! It really isn’t fair!
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
by Roald Dahl
Verucca Salt:
As soon as I told my father that I simply HAD to have one of those Golden Tickets, He started buying up all the wonka candy bars in town and began sending them to his factory. He is in the peanut buisness, and has over 100 women shelling peanuts day and night. So he said to them, “OK girls, from now on, start shelling the wrappers off these crazy candy bars.” and they actually did! Three days went by, but no luck. I got more and more upset! I would lie on the floor for hours, screaming “I WANT MY GOLDEN TICKET!!!!!!!”. Finally, a worker found the golden ticket. My father rushed home and gave it to me, and now, I’m all smiles, and we have a happy, happy home, once again!!
Anne of Green Gables
by L.M. Montgomery
Anne: Mrs. Lynde, I’m extremely sorry I behaved so terribly. I’ve disgraced my good friends who’ve let me stay at Green Gables on trial, even though I’m not a boy. I am wicked and ungrateful, and I deserve to be cast out forever. What you said was true; I am skinny and ugly, and my hair is red. What I said about you was true too, only I shouldn’t have said it. Please, Mrs. Lynde, forgive me. You wouldn’t be so cruel as to inflict a life-long sorrow on a poor orphan. Please. Please, forgive me.
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